The Self ManageMENT Dojo is
Self Defense against
Self & Other Destructive
Thoughts, Feelings & Behaviors
It is the AUMM Gym
Active Urge & Mood Management
-that Heals what Heals people so
Parents, Partners, Police Preachers
Therapists Coaches Trainers & Teachers lives & work is easier!
Perhaps it’s best to start where all Self- Management begins and ends, the capacity to prevent or dissipate harmful stress aka distress. When our system is dysregulated, in a state of distress, our capacity to think and act clearly are limited if not completely non-existent. With mindfulness now a popular term, it is important to know beyond all names, titles etc., Religion & Spirituality are really Self-Management Systems we use to harmoniously align with God or however you refer to your Universal Source. Relationships especially require deep self-management to connect, co-regulate with and attune to your partner’s moods, feelings and most intimate needs. And yes, in order to increase and release the most healing, neurohormonal energies into your beloved’s and your system, the real purpose of mature sex, even the Tantric & Taoist practices require deep self-management. Speaking of intimate relationships, to prevent domestic abuse, neglect and violence against women, men, especially children, even animals, Self- management, need I at all say, is an absolute necessity. In business, especially when the stakes are high, to properly read understand and respond to the needs of perspective and current clients, self-management is an absolute must. To read the implicit needs of others you must first manage your own inner landscape and experience.
I was an athlete and performer for years…to take the stage, field, court or course you must first manage your mind which manages your muscles. (Think yips..if you golf) In fact, to properly isolate, go into and stay in “the burn” to even develop the mental and physical muscles necessary to make the proper movements in the pressured moments requires supreme self-management. And even more important, in daily life when a marriage, a relationship, a child's future is on the line, we need self-management to NOT DO, to stop doing, to avoid doing what is harmful to ourselves and others...and to do what is right, what is beneficial and keep doing it. We need self-management to avoid what seems to be most prevalent and at an all-time high... even the very thoughts, feelings and moods that lead to violence, suicides, addictions and alike …I’m talking about the self-defeating, self-sabotaging, self and other destructive behaviors! I live what I teach and preach. I have had to and still practice otherwise I would not be here to do so for you. Thirteen years ago,
I “was” bulimic for 18 years unbeknownst to family, girlfriends, even my former wife in China.
The paradox of all this is that we must use the same means of stress, resistance & adversity to build physical, mental, emotional, spiritual muscle. We must use it to build both character & capacity to do what is difficult especially when it is most difficult and matters most. It's said, “Anyone can sail the ship when the water is calm, only the captain of their ship, when the seas are rough and waves high." What I teach is the practice of building the mental, emotional, spiritual & physical muscles you need for sailing & surfing the urges, the moods, the negative self-talk, the self-defeating, self-sabotaging, self and other destructive behaviors when the waves and stakes are highest...to monitor, manage and modulate your States to the Stages & Traits of your ever Better Self...What I teach, of which there are many levels and depths, are the Self-Management Arts & Sciences - without which Self Mastery, Love & Success are not possible!
This is my favorite Asian writing character.
It means even with a
knife at your heart you persevere!